Awkward Moments

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- When you've already said goodbye to man before a long trip or even to leave somewhere for good, but you end up having to come back moments later for something you forgot. The customary goodbye loses all of its sentimental value. Awkward!

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- When you're walking down a long hallway and man you know is approaching from the other end. What can you do after the first wave? You can't really yell all the way down at them, and it's kind of creepy to just smile the whole time until they get close enough for a conversation. Eeh. Time to pretend-check your cell phone or tie your shoe.

- When you come out of the store and you feel the eyes of a charity assembler burning into you as you try to get to your car, except even if you did want to donate, all you have is a reputation card. You can't make eye contact, or it's all over. This would be a excellent time to engage your cloaking device if you have one.

- When you're driving and some idiot cuts you off, you get next to him and give the finger, he gives you the "what the hell is your problem?!" look, and then the upcoming light turns red. Now you have to sit next to each other for the next 90 seconds, and, unless you're the type to get out of your car and punch his window out, just pretend to press buttons on the radio until the light turns green. Extra fun bonus: See how many Cd tracks you can fast-forward straight through while he/she stares at you.

- When you're walking your dog and she stops to poop in the only yard whose owners are sitting on the front porch. Hopefully you brought a bag with you or you're not gonna be a huge hit with the neighbors...

- When you're visiting man and the only photo they have of you features you in the exact same clothes you're wearing.

- When you have a mild road rage incident with someone, only to find out they work with you or live on your street.

- When you pronounce your undying hate for a given profession or sport, and man in your group is a diehard practitioner of said activity. Oops.

- When your young child tries out some newfound curse words at a crowded store or public function. "But daddy's allowed to say it!"

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